Ted Nugent: Notorious Northern Dumb Ass 'Billy

Reading about the right's newest icon, Ted Nugent, fills me with as much joy as the Tea Party's hero four years ago, Joe the Plumber did. Apparently, so few people outside of the 1% agree with the Right Wing that when someone, anyone in the 99%, says anything uber-conservative or reactionary, they are immediately elevated as a Republican Sage, no background check required. So when Joe the Plumber turned out to not be a plumber and his knowledge of tax codes proved to be substantially less than his knowledge of plumbing, you might think the Republicans would sweep him under the rug, away from microphones and the camera's glare.
You would be wrong. Joe (real name Samuel Wurzelbacher) is running for congress to represent the people of northeast Ohio. Personally, I can't wait for Mama Grizzly to show up so the two of them can have a televised "Dumb Off" where the person who knows the least about our country gets full Tea Party backing for another four years.
Ah yes. But Ted Nugent. The self described Michigan Madman but actually Michigan's most famous dumb ass billy. Ted's entire following, not only in Michigan but across the country, are paranoid yahoos whose entire wardrobe is variations of what they lovingly refer to as "camo".
The only real problem looming is some wise ass conservatives have already Googled Ted, then ran as far from him as they could get. C'mon guys, this the "Nuge", the NRA member who threatened the President's life! The guy who thinks it should be illegal not to own guns! And apparently, the machine gun-toting billy who decided that not bathing or changing his clothes after defecating in them would keep him out of the VietNam war. It worked, albeit the psychopath deferment issue was skirted with a friendlier 1-Y (student) pass. Hey, it's all in this interview from the July 15, 1990 Detroit Free Press.
But now, conservative columnist and blogger Debbie Schlussel has discovered that Ted not only has recently been sued for non-payment of child support (a true Libertarian), fathered seven children by five different women, but he's also a pedophile who bargained with his under-age girlfriend's parents to sign her over to his guardianship, and had oral sex with a twelve year old Courtney Love.
Then calling the Catholic Church an "in house gang of pedophiles" demonstrates his inability to interpret himself and to reject responsibility for his actions, worthy of the craziest sociopaths of all time.
But true billies are a forgiving (or more likely uninformed...by choice) lot, as the star of this blog's last posting, Rep. Allen West (R - FL), stated that Ted's veiled threat concerning President Obama was really "just expressing ... maybe his opinion about something"
And even that bulwark of the Clueless Right, Governor Rick Perry (R- TX), has a high opinion of the Motor City Moron, even considering him "a good friend.". Perry hired the jerk to perform at his 2007 Inaugural Ball. The "Nuge", wearing a confederate flag tee shirt, is said to have hollered some very offensive comments about non-English speaking Texas residents that night, but of course the folks at the ball couldn't remember a thing about it. They seemingly all had whatever memory problem it is that the graceless Gov. himself suffers from.